About Alison

A feisty mother earth type, who has an opinion about everything I would like to think I use my "chopsy" attitude to throw some light and perhaps a new slant on current social and cultural issues.

Since I moved to the country for a quiet life I have been lucky enough to create a more healthy more relaxed environment for myself. I love country life, Family, Friends, Horses and Dogs. I also love, photography, writing/chatting and connecting with others.

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which follows my efforts to learn to ride and care for horses in my 50s! or just follow me on Twitter and I will follow you back (if you are a real person) on @alisonbarton1. Enjoy and talk to me.

Friday, 4 May 2012

3 Wives 24 Kids,Hey how long must his “to do list be?”

I was reading an article today about a polygamous marriage, in Utah, Salt Lake city between a man twin sisters and the sisters’ cousin. Three woman one man and 24 children. Well it got me thinking.

 Not so much the rights and wrongs of it, that’s a whole can of worms, but the how’s and whys of it.

I considered my situation, compared and contrasted it, married for a long time, (such a long time,) to one man.  I don’t share him with any other woman, to my knowledge! And I think it’s about all he can cope with. He has his “cave” you know when men disappear into the shed, the attic or the garage, his is the little music studio his cobbled together in the spare room. He spends hours in there, playing his guitar and recording “stuff”. Do polygamous men have a “cave” where they can be alone? Do they need one? Mine needs his and I need him to go in there at regular intervals. Does the other woman or women take the place of the “cave”. Give one wife rest from his nuances (endearing little ways) demands (so utterly predictable) and other signs of presence (odours).

Could it be a simple as that, I don’t mind what he does in the spare room alone because I am at liberty to do what I want, without feeling obliged to stop and  consider him. Can sharing a man actually be a relief? It may have its possibilities.

Mind you I do like to get him out of his “cave” and motivate him towards a “productive “ day every now and then, he is swamped in DIY projects, I occasionally like it if he comes with me places so I don’t have to drive and he can carry heavy things, even once in a while I like some relief, hey don’t get excited. I like some relief from the domestic chores like cooking the odd meal clearing the kitchen, feeding the dogs Oh and vacuuming (I hate vacuuming). How does that work in a polygamous marriage, are the “to do lists” longer for the man/husband or do the women get more help by sharing between themselves?

I was starting to warm to the idea then I thought about the power base, which settles somewhere in all relationships, the swing of give and take, take take and that’s where I could not see how it would work, because women loose a bargaining chip in this set up. Like it or lump it if it’s a good meal, a cuddle or an interested expression when they are telling the same old joke for the umpteenth time, we give and receive. If he can wander around from room to room, where’s the option to withhold in order to manipulate and get our own way when we want. No I don’t like this idea, it’s entirely unhealthy when a girl can’t blackmail her husband into submission. Get that “to do list “ out and add a few things to the bottom, got to keep him busy.

P.S. I do love him really

Alison x

1 comment:

  1. I would say the guy in Utah leads a very shallow existence.

    3 wives?

    This put him on a par with a Muslim who opts to follow the Islamic way.

    24 kids? unless his time is totally concentrated on them, they are being deprived, even then, how can he justify helping to overpopulate the earth.

    Nowadays I feel guilty for having just 4 kids, which given my time over would be limited to the replacement rate, that is, 2 only.

    I suppose, if those 3 wives are constant and true, and they have ceased breeding,the excuse can be that if not with him, they would be just as likely to knock out six each with someone else.
    But the Mormons? what are they like eh?


Hi I am really interested in your comments so let me know what you think and I will get back to you if you want me to. Thanks for reading
Alison xx