I was reading an article today about a polygamous marriage,
in Utah , Salt
Lake city between a man twin sisters and the sisters’
cousin. Three woman one man and 24 children. Well it got me thinking.
Not so much the
rights and wrongs of it, that’s a whole can of worms, but the how’s and whys of
it.
I considered my situation, compared and contrasted it,
married for a long time, (such a long time,) to one man. I don’t share him with any other woman, to my
knowledge! And I think it’s about all he can cope with. He has his “cave” you
know when men disappear into the shed, the attic or the garage, his is the
little music studio his cobbled together in the spare room. He spends hours in
there, playing his guitar and recording “stuff”. Do polygamous men have a “cave”
where they can be alone? Do they need one? Mine needs his and I need him to go
in there at regular intervals. Does the other woman or women take the place of
the “cave”. Give one wife rest from his nuances (endearing little ways) demands
(so utterly predictable) and other signs of presence (odours).
Could it be a simple as that, I don’t mind what he does in
the spare room alone because I am at liberty to do what I want, without feeling
obliged to stop and consider him. Can
sharing a man actually be a relief? It may have its possibilities.
Mind you I do like to get him out of his “cave” and motivate
him towards a “productive “ day every now and then, he is swamped in DIY
projects, I occasionally like it if he comes with me places so I don’t have to
drive and he can carry heavy things, even once in a while I like some relief,
hey don’t get excited. I like some relief from the domestic chores like cooking
the odd meal clearing the kitchen, feeding the dogs Oh and vacuuming (I hate vacuuming).
How does that work in a polygamous marriage, are the “to do lists” longer for
the man/husband or do the women get more help by sharing between themselves?
I was starting to warm to the idea then I thought about the
power base, which settles somewhere in all relationships, the swing of give and
take, take take and that’s where I could not see how it would work, because
women loose a bargaining chip in this set up. Like it or lump it if it’s a good
meal, a cuddle or an interested expression when they are telling the same old
joke for the umpteenth time, we give and receive. If he can wander around from
room to room, where’s the option to withhold in order to manipulate and get our
own way when we want. No I don’t like this idea, it’s entirely unhealthy when a
girl can’t blackmail her husband into submission. Get that “to do list “ out
and add a few things to the bottom, got to keep him busy.
P.S. I do love him really
Alison x
