Real relationships or virtual friends ?

Some people say using computers is making us all cocooned from reality. Having virtual relationships through a computer screen, means we have undeveloped interpersonal skills because when we get bored  we log off  controlling our environment in a very clinical unemotional way.

We can be delighted by a cheery message from “someone” we have never met, and

when we are in real company we get our phones out and start tweeting. Which takes us back into our comfortable virtual world. The real conversation fades to a distant hub bub and once again we are in agreeable company.

What are so many people finding in this medium that they aren’t getting in the “real world” can it all be too much, too" in your face".

There has been a growing trend for people to express their feelings more honestly.  Could it be the influence of reality TV where people are encouraged to be honest with each other to make exciting viewing. People who are “nice” all the time are slammed for being cheesy and not real! What’s so wrong with making an effort being kind and considerate of other people’s feelings?

I know there are incidents of cyber bullying which are atrocious and really harmful, but in the main it’s a more controllable environment. There are also a lot of people who can’t get out and about so much and social networking opens up a whole new world.

I for one am in a position to choose who I spend my time with, being retired, I don’t have to deal with office politics. As well as keeping in touch with and seeing friends and family, I enjoy meeting new people and chatting face to face. But when I am tired and resting up I love writing my blog and casting my social net wide, through tweeting. Tweeters can be so interesting too and you can have chances to hook up with people you would otherwise never meet. Yes you can switch off whenever you like. But far from keeping me isolated tweeting has brought new opportunities my  way, so  there is simply no choice, real life or tweeting, like puddings I will have a slice of each please.

Love Alison x

Comfort Zone, a gilded cage?

Comfort zones are resting stops not places for permanent habitation. If you like your little bolt hole a little too much do you wonder how it would be if you were a little bit more adventurous. I did. Since moving to the Forest of Dean, which in itself was a bit of a leap of faith, I have changed more than just my view, and I love it every little challenge brings its own lovely surprise

I am taking my time though and often withdraw into the security of my own space be it physical or emotional. When I first retired (four years ago) I was tired, very tired and shut myself off from everything. My solitude and safety of my home surroundings were very much a comfort to me. So moving was a pretty big deal, meeting new people was an effort and changing my routine unsettling. However, having a go at new things has been very good for me.. Initially small steps were challenging, like meeting a new Doctor, inviting neighbours for coffee or getting used to chatting to locals out on my walk. With every step I became more confident and emboldened. New things came my way that made my life more exciting and enjoyable.

A chat with a fellow dog walker in the forest led me to join in, helping out at the Riding for the disabled.(RDA). Weekly contact with everyone at the stables led to making new friends and taking up horse riding again, which I love so much..I have now embarked on an incredibly exciting project and dragged my beloved into it with me. It has been so exciting we were both awake at 4 o’clock the other morning and got up to talk about the adventure to date. We have become involved in the making of a TV program, filming has taken place at our home and we have also been taken to another place for filming. All this from my Twittering!

The presenter and the production team have been so lovely, I just can’t tell you, they work so hard and stay so cheerful and professional. I don’t want to say too much about it yet, it will be on air in April so I can go into more detail closer to the time. I feel a bit reluctant to talk about other people in my blog I’m not sure if its the done thing anyway I am not comfortable saying more.

The purpose of this blog though is to stress how we can and should reach out and try new things. Make sure our safe place remains a source of succour, where we retreat to and not a prison we are locked into.

Love Alison x